“Sylvia Plath”, by Peter Laughner

Sylvia Plath was never too good at math
But they told me that she finished at the head of her class
And if she lost any virginity
She didn’t lose it too fast
They couldn’t hold any dress rehearsals for Sylvia Plath

Sylvia Plath came into Manhattan
She had crawled from one cocoon
Where there was absolutely nothing happening
She said, “If I going to be classless and crass,
I’m going to break up some glass,”
But nobody broke anything sharper than Sylvia Plath.

There’s no romance in excuses
Just a dance in the aftermath.
And when you check out of this hotel, Jack,
You’re nothing but an autograph.
The desk clerk wakes up around seven and he tosses it out with the trash,
But he might keep a couple of letters return addressed to Sylvia Plath.

Sylvia Plath woke up and turned on the gas
Then she put her head down and completely forgot about lighting a match
The rest of the details are just too boring to attach
But let’s see you do one thing as graceful as Sylvia Plath.
Aw, let’s see you do one thing as graceful as Sylvia Plath.
Let’s see you do one thing as senselessly cruel as Sylvia Plath.

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